


Three Weeks a Year

by Diddyk



Category: jikook - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: M/M, Mentioned Hoseok, Romance, Smut, barely appearing Yoongi, jikook - Freeform, jikookcentric, timelapse, topjimin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 19:54:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7858975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diddyk/pseuds/Diddyk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even if it's only for three weeks a year, I love these moments I can spend with you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Weeks a Year

2006, July 4th, On the ferry from Goheung to Jeju.

 

I'm lazily leaning on the rail, watching the waves that the boat is leaving on the calm dark sea while stargazing, my parents sitting not far from me. It's one in the morning and I'm not quite awake but I can't sleep either. Not because I'm too excited to go to Jeju again, even if I am, but because when I lay down, the boat moving along the sparkling water surface makes me nauseous. So I try to stay awake by distracting myself as much as I can, looking for constellations. I won't complain because I love the night sky but the only thing I really want right now is to catch sight of the coast. We're supposed to land in less than an hour so if there's no delay, my ordeal will be ending soon.

My name is Park Jimin and I'm ten and a half years old. And like every year at this period, we're going on holiday in Jeju, at the apartment my grandfather owns. A lot of people tell me that I should feel lucky and grateful for that, because not everyone can afford holidays on the island, but I guess I'm too used to coming here since I'm a baby to realise how great it is. Of course I'm happy and excited every year to come, I'm not spoiled or anything, but for me it's just normal.

I spotted Cassiopeia but it's not the one I'm looking for. My father told me that there is one that looks just like a knight, Hercules constellation, but I can't find it.

“Jimin !” My father calls behind my back and I turn around as he asks me to come over with a wave of hand. I throw a last glance to the sky and run into his and my mother's direction.

“We should go back to the car now, we're arriving soon,” she tells me and I jump happily with a large smile on my face to the giant parking in the ferry's hold. I'm relieved because I will be able to sleep once the car's wheels hit the ground.

 

 

2006, July 4th, Arriving in Seogwipo.

 

I'm shaken awake by my mother as my father parks the car in front of the quite classy building where we will be staying for the next three weeks. It's still dark outside and I can't contain a yawn. I want more sleep but I still go out of the car, standing on wobbly legs and grab my backpack, leaving my suitcase in the trunk until morning. I let my father guide me all the way to the apartment with his hand around my shoulders since my eyes are barely open while my mother searches for the keys in her handbag. Once the door is open, I walk to my bedroom, just next to the little living room on automatic mode and let myself fall on the single bed even if it's not made. I still open my bag and fumble for my cuddly toy, a blue bunny with big front teeth, big eyes and long, falling ears, before closing my eyes until the morning.

 

 

2006, July 4th, Kookie.

 

I wake up slowly at a soft smell coming from the open door and at the noise of a pan over the stove. My store is closed but daylight is illuminating the living room and even my bedroom as sun rays are warming my feet softly. My eyes snap wide open as realisation hit me. We are in Jeju. I jump off of bed, still fishing for my bunny, Kookie, who was suffocating under my pillow and walk joyfully to the bar separating the kitchen from the living room and climb on one of the bar tools.

“Good morning Dad !” I sing, making him turn around with a soft smile. He's flipping pancakes into the pan, a green apron covering his chest and thighs.

“Good morning, did you sleep well ?” He asks me, filling a glass with orange juice and handing it to me as well as a plate with two shapeless hot pancakes covered in strawberry jam.

“Yes !” I say before eating my breakfast in a hurry, drinking some of my juice sometimes to make it all go down my throat.

“Take your time and I want you to take a shower and make your bed before anything alright ?” He says with an amused but warning look.

I nod vigorously, being incapable of speaking with my mouth so full but still feel disappointed because it will only take me too much time. Yet I comply, I don't want to disobey my parents. So when my stomach is full of the pancakes and the juice, I quickly go to my bedroom to make my bed messily. I struggle a lot but once everything seems right, even if it absolutely doesn't look like when my parents make it, I run to the shower just as my mother comes out of the bathroom.

“Good morning mum !” I sing and she smiles fondly and pat my head.

There's no time to lose and I rub my body in a hurry. I'm feeling too excited and eager.

Finally dressed and with my hair still a little wet, I'm climbing the spiral stairs to find my parents in their mezzanine bedroom, putting their clothes into the dresser.

“Can I go now ?” I ask, catching both their attention. They look at each other with a little nod before turning back to me, smiling.

“Go, but don't bother his parents and come back for lunch,” my mother says.

“Ok !” I smile and run down the stairs. I've waited too long for this moment. I go out fast, closing the door behind me and walk the five steps that separate me from the neighbour's apartment. I knock eagerly and the door with a silver 23 nailed on it opens not even a minute after on a smiling, beautiful woman with long straight brown hair and big sparkling dark eyes.

“Oh Jimin,” she says in a sweet tone. “I was wondering when you would come.”

“Good morning Mrs Jeon ! Is Jungkookie here ?” I was practically jumping on place.

“Yes come in, he just woke up,” she answers, taking a step to the side to let me in. I walk up the corridor and enter the illuminated large living room with big glass doors leading to the balcony, a giant flat screen, a wooden coffee table settled on an expensive carpet and a large beige couch on which is curled up a little frame holding tightly a bright red fox cuddly toy in his arms and chewing absent mindedly a brioche with his big eyes staring into nothing.

“Kookie !” I sing happily as I jump next to him onto the couch, startling him and crushing him into my arms. His eyes grow bigger before practically disappearing into crinkling crescents as he closes his arms around me, letting ChimChim, his red fox, fall to his laps.

“'Morning hyung,” he says softly as he retreats from the hug to look at me and taking a bite of his breakfast.

“How have you been ? Did you miss me ?” I ask, the smile I'm sporting never leaving my face as I ruffle his jet black hair. He nods vigorously and searches for my hand to take it in his own little one.

 

 

2006, July 12th, A day at the beach in Seogwipo.

 

Today is a good day. My parents have brought Jungkook and me at the beach while his parents are hiking for the day. So we're here, playing in the sand, making up stories and living in our own imaginary world or playing at chasing the waves, holding firmly each other's hand. He is like the younger brother I never had and I know I'm probably like the older brother he never had. Even if it's only for three weeks of the year. We laugh and run around, play rackets or with a ball and only stop to take a break when we're out of breath or when my parents call us to offer us an ice cream or put some more sunblock on us.

Like every year, we take out our masks and snorkels to explore the seabed, trying to catch fishes with bare hands or find shells to decorate our sand castles until we're too exhausted and collapse on our towels under the umbrella. It's half past six when we're parking in front of our building and release each other's hand to grab our backpacks and climb out of the car. We're all entering my grandfather's apartment since his parents are apparently not back yet and as my mother starts to cook with the help of my father, Jungkook and I go into the shower to wash the sand and salt off our bodies.

Twenty minutes later, we're in front of the little TV watching a cartoon when Jungkook fishes for his bag next to the couch.

“Hyung, I-I have something for you,” he whispers while fumbling for something into his bag, catching my attention. I look at him, surprised and excited as he takes out a large piece of paper and hand it to me shyly. This is a drawing of us, smiling and holding hands under a big yellow sun and a blue sky with a few birds. It's not perfect, our hands and heads look too big compared to the rest of our bodies but I can still recognize us and it's beautiful to me. I smile widely at him, noticing his embarrassment and pink cheeks.

“Thank you Kookie ! I love it !” I say as I give him a tight hug, making him chuckle.

 

 

2006, July 24th, The ritual.

 

It's practically nine in the afternoon and Jungkook and I are done with the building of our shack made of bedsheets, covers and soft cushions into his living room. We had started doing this when he was still five and me seven because he wouldn't stop crying and wouldn't let go of me either, knowing that it was the last night of holidays before going back to his home town, Seoul. So our parents allowed us to spend the last night together and since, it has become a ritual.

Into our pyjamas and both with Kookie and ChimChim, we enter the little tent and settle ourselves closely under the covers with a torch, starting to tell stories to each other. It's mostly me who speak, Jungkook listening with his big eyes wide open and giggling sometimes when I tell a joke. Or we imagine that we're adventurers sleeping under our tent on a mountain surrounded by dragons or exiled on an island surrounded by big sea monsters, all on our own until Jungkook's eyes flutter sleepily and I turn off the torch, wishing him goodnight.

 

 

2010, July 7th, The playground.

 

I am in Seogwipo again. It's been fourteen years already that I'm coming here every summer and even if I don't remember the first few years, I'm starting to know the place very well. I'm even starting to know and get familiar with some inhabitants who recognize me and tell me how I've grown so much since the last time they saw me. And of course, there are still The Jeons and Jungkook staying next door. We still don't talk the rest of the year but this way, we have so many things to tell when we finally see each other that it feels like we've been spending the year together. He is still and will still be my little Jungkookie. It's funny how we're so close to each other when we're only spending such few time together.

The good thing is that now we've grown up a lot, our parents let us go outside without them yet not to far from our apartments. That's why we're now in the little playground a few streets away from the building, like almost every day, when our parents are not dragging us somewhere with them. We even have our shelter where we settle ourselves when we're not running around. It's an old-looking little wooden hut just under a big tree.

We're sitting in it, me with a comic book my parents bought me the day before in hands and Jungkook with his drawing pad and drawing pencil, as we're sharing earphones to listen to some music we both like on my mp3 player. Finishing the last page, I close my book, still feeling thrilled by the story and wishing the next volume was published already. I put it back into my bag and take a look at Jungkook and at his hands working on the paper. He's doodling one of his favourite anime character and I can't help but feel amazed and proud at how much he improved since the time he gave me this drawing of us. He has a talent for sure because even if he is twelve, the traits are neat and precise and the character he is drawing almost looks like the original. I stare at him a little more without him noticing, looking how his hand is moving, how his eyebrows are slightly furrowed and how his tongue is cutely sticking out between his pursed lips in concentration.

“You sure improved a lot Jungkookie,” I finally say with a smile, leaning against his shoulder to take a better look.

“Ah... Thank you hyung but see, I can't draw his neck well and his hands are ugly,” he answered with a little pout and reddening cheeks as he stops to show me all the parts he can't get right.

“No, this is good ! I can't even do the half of it,” I laugh and he looks at me with crescent sparkling eyes.

 

 

2010, July 18th, Cheonjiyeon Waterfall

 

“Hyung, do you like someone ?”

I turn my head to look at Jungkook whose cheeks are slightly tainted in red as he looks down with his doe eyes at his fingers playing onto his laps. We're at Cheonjiyeon waterfall for a picnic diner with his parents, drying on a rock with our feet still dangling in the fresh water. I'm slightly taken aback by his question, it's the first time he talks to me about a possible crush but I smile and look back at the clear surface waving softly.

“Hm, there was this girl I kind of liked this year but she liked my friend. But now no, there's no one,” I say before looking back at him nodding slightly.

“Why ? Does my Jungkookie have a crush ?” I tease him, ruffling his hair and bending in half, trying to have a glimpse of his eyes.

“No I don't !” He answers embarrassed and pushes me away as his ears turn bright red and he pouts cutely. I giggle and want to tease him more but I don't, afraid that he would get angry at me.

“You can tell me you know ? I won't make fun of you,” I say in a gentle tone but he shakes his head vigorously, keeping his eyes glued to his thighs. His shyness makes me want to squeal but I refrain myself and don't push him further even if I'm curious. He will tell me eventually when he will be less embarrassed, I hope.

 

 

2010, July 26th, Under the tent.

 

It's almost midnight and both Jungkook and I are still wide awake. We're now whispering into the dark because his parents came down the stairs a couple of times already to tell us to sleep. We're no longer imagining that we're adventurers fighting against dragons but talking about our favourite super heroes, Jedi or the singers we admire and want to be like when we grow up. Yet, we still keep Kookie and ChimChim under our arms, like it's part of the ritual. To be honest, I still sleep with my bunny even if I'm probably to old for that.

Our eyes got pretty used to the night and I can see Jungkook rather easily as we're facing each other with our heads resting on our pillows. There's a moment of silence before he averts his eyes shyly.

“Hyung, you remember when I asked if you like someone ?” He whispers.

“Hm, I remember,” I answer, nodding even if he doesn't look at me and smiling because I will finally know more about his crush. I feel excited.

“Well, I think I like someone,” he ads, throwing a few glances at me but never looking straight into my eyes.

“Tell me more, who is it ?” I ask as he stays silent.

His eyes finally lock with mine and I give him an encouraging smile.

“Y-you...,” he breaths out and my heart stops. I stay motionless and speechless, looking at him with wide eyes. This is the first time I'm the one receiving a confession and I wasn't expecting it to be from a boy even less from the one I'm almost considering like my little brother. And I was even less expecting him to lean closer to me and peck my lips quickly before retreating in the blink of an eye. I try to form a few words as he stares at me, his cheeks getting so red that I can see it even in the dark we are in.

“I-I'm sorry K-Kookie,” I stutter, gulping with difficulty, not managing to say that I don't return his feelings and not knowing what else to do but biting on my lower lip harshly. His eyes flutter a little and he presses his lips together, like he's trying to swallow his tears. The sight breaks my heart. It breaks my heart to know that I'm probably the first one to break his. Me, who would gladly kick the butt of any person that would hurt him.

“No, it's okay hyung,” he answers in a rather strangled voice before facing the ceiling of our tent. I want to do or say something, anything to comfort him but I don't know what.

“I knew,” he ads with a little sad giggle, sniffling slightly but I'm still frozen.

“Hyung, is it weird that I don't like girls ?” He asks after a minute of heavy silence during which I could barely breath. But the question finally tears me out of my trance.

“No ! No Jungkook, it's not weird,” I breath out. _Please don't ever think that it's abnormal_.

“Ok,” he sighs and finally gives his back to me. “Goodnight hyung.”

I stay speechless once again. I want to hug him but I know this is probably not a good idea. I'd like to tell him that I like him too but I can't. I'd like to explain to him that it's not a bad thing to be gay but the words won't come out. So I stay here, looking sadly at his jet black hair and his slowly breathing frame, listening to his soft sniffles and whispering a barely audible goodnight to him even if I know that none of us will sleep well tonight.

 

 

2011, July 5th, Strangers.

 

I open my eyes slowly, the ray light coming from behind the curtain warming my scalp and I feel like turning against the wall and sleep a little longer when I remember where I am. On my little single bed into my grandfather's apartment in Seogwipo. I suddenly feel excited to see Jungkook again but it quickly turns into apprehension when I recall how we separated last year. After waking up with quite difficulty because we both lacked sleep and after getting scolded by his parents because we shouldn't have stayed awake so late, we said goodbye half heartedly and with a heavy heart. I wanted to have more time to talk to him to tell him how sorry I was and how I still loved him but I couldn't. I hugged him and wanted to keep him in my arms but we had to separate eventually and we said goodbye, promising each other that we would meet a year after and waving with sadden eyes.

And now I have to face him again after all this time. I feel conflicted between happiness and fear. Maybe his crush on me vanished, maybe he likes someone else now, maybe I should just act like nothing ever happened. Yet, these thoughts aren't really comforting me.

I push my sheets away and walk to the kitchen sloppily, finding both my parents sipping at their mugs of coffee and eating toasts.

“'Morning,” I say lazily, peeking at the clock hanged over the bar. It is only a little past eight in the morning and I know Jungkook became quite a heavy sleeper so I still have time.

“Good Morning sweetheart,” my mother says, turning to me with tired eyes but a soft smile.

“Did you sleep well son ?” My father asks and I nod, suppressing a yawn while I sit beside them at the bar and serve myself from the plate of hot toasts.

After eating, showering, making my bed and unpacking a few stuffs, I'm finally ready and decide it is late enough to go knock on the neighbour's door.

“I'm going !” I say loudly for my parents to hear and get out of the apartment quite eagerly. It's been a year after all and I miss Jungkook. I knock on the white wooden door and wait not so patiently for The Jeons to open it. But when the door open, I'm face to face with a stranger who looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Hm, hello sir, are The Jeons here ?” I ask shyly, glancing into the apartment in the hope to see a familiar face.

“No they're not, you might have the wrong address boy,” he answers politely but I feel like he is slightly upset and his words are like a punch in my stomach.

“Ah ok, sorry,” I say, bowing slightly and he nods before closing the door on my face. Yet I stay here, with my arms hanging from my shoulders, trying to process what happened. I then look around but no, I'm at the right door. Why aren't they here ? Where is my little Jungkookie ?

After a few minutes I go back into my apartment, meeting my parents' surprised eyes and I tell them.

“Can I try to call them ?” I ask my mother who nods and gives me her cellphone because I don't have my own yet. The Jeons and my parents aren't close, they're not even quite friends but they used to exchange banalities and of course their phone numbers in the case they needed to contact each other because of Jungkook and I. So I take the cellphone, search for Mrs Jeon's number and dial it, bringing the device to my ear. It rings, again and again but no one hangs off. Disappointed, I try again but it's the same so I decide to leave a message.

“Hello Mrs Jeon, this is Jimin. I was wondering if you were staying somewhere else this year, if you're coming in Seogwipo... Hm, please call me back and say “hi” to Jungkookie for me. Goodbye.”

I frown and leave the phone on the coffee table before sitting heavily on the couch. My mother comes back a few minutes later, ready to do some groceries with my father but she stops when she sees me digging holes into her cellphone with my eyes.

“Maybe they're staying somewhere else for the holiday or maybe they will arrive later. Don't worry ok ? You will make other friends,” she tries to sound comforting but it doesn't work. I still nod slightly even if I keep the pout on my lips because I don't want other summer friend than Jungkook.

 

 

2011, July 10th, Silence.

 

Like every other day since we arrived this year, I'm dragging my feet. I'm going to sit alone in Jungkook's and I little shelter under the tree, looking at children playing loudly with the slide or the roundabout. I plug my earphones but it doesn't feel the same. Mrs Jeon never called me back and when I tried to dial her number again, she didn't answer. A part of me is worried that something might have happened while the other is feeling awfully down. I'm even a little angry even if I shouldn't because there's probably a reason why they're not here. I look at my right but there's no Jungkook doodling on his drawing pad and I feel like crying. Even more when I think about how my parents look at me with sorry eyes. But hopefully, they're trying their best to cheer me up and now that I don't have anything else to do, I follow them mostly everywhere. They keep on telling me to go and make friends but I think they don't know how hard it actually is to make friends during holidays. It's scary.

As I lean back against the wooden wall of the hut and sigh, I think about Jungkook again and the way we separated. I wanted to see him so badly, I've waited a year to see him again in the hope to talk to him and in the hope that nothing would have changed after his confession but he's not here. Could it be the reason ? Maybe Jungkook told his parents he didn't want to come to Seogwipo again.

 

 

2011, July 25th, In my bed.

 

Here it is, the last night before going back to Busan. And I'm in my bed, crushing Kookie into my arms and crying silently even if I'm fifteen and should act like a grown up. There's no ritual tonight, it's only me and my bunny. There's no tent either, just my narrow bed. I kept on hoping during all the stay that The Jeons would show up somehow, with a smiling Jungkook by their side but no. I kept an eye on the neighbour's door everyday but the only people I saw were this stranger and possibly his wife. But now there's no point in hoping anymore. I won't see Jungkook this year, I won't hug him or hold his hand. And we're not going to spend the night under our tent, talking until it makes his parents mad.

 

 

2012, July 3rd, By myself, once again.

 

Two years. Two years since I have not seen Jungkook but I still think about him. Particularly today when it's our first day in Seogwipo and I still expect him to come out of nowhere. I'm not going to knock on the door this time but I lean over the rail in the hallway casually, answering my friends' texts while keeping an eye on the white wooden door with the 23 in silver numbers hanged on it.

When it finally opens, it startles me and I stare hopefully in its direction but disappointment overcomes me once again as I see a couple with two little children coming out and locking the door behind them, talking happily. I groan and drag my feet back into my grandfather's apartment even if my parents are probably going to ask me if The Jeons are back. I feel worried too, worried that something bad happened. And I feel hurt again, hurt by the hope I still had in me to see my little Jungkookie. But I guess that I'll never see him again. I guess the only thing I have now is a childish drawing of us under a big yellow sun.

 

 

2014, July 6th, The Shelter.

 

My eyes flutter slowly and I can't properly breath. I feel like something is suffocating me. As I'm starting to get my senses back, I realise that Kookie is over my face, completely obstructing my nose and mouth. I push him aside and straighten into a sitting position with a groan, rubbing my face with my palms. There are already noises coming from the kitchen behind my closed door and I stand up with a growling stomach. My parents are hurriedly downing their mugs of coffee while lacing their shoes or checking their handbags.

“Good morning sweetheart, we're leaving for the museum in five, still not coming ?” My mother asks as if I could get ready in five minutes.

“'Morning and no thank you,” I still answer while serving myself a mug of steaming coffee. “But have a good day.”

“Thanks, you too !” My parents reply a little too loudly in unison before checking one last time that they have everything they need. I have a long day all by myself before me but I guess I will just lazy around.

I didn't check the 23rd apartment when we arrived this year, yet I know that I still hope to cross The Jeons path somehow. I still hope that Jungkook will come knock on my door and tell me why they suddenly disappeared, why _he_ suddenly disappeared.

I keep on thinking about him every time we come to Seogwipo even if now he is just a childhood memory. I keep on thinking about him through the year too. Yet, I'm not even sure if I would recognize him if he was to appear in front of me anyway.

So I go on with my morning routine and settle myself lazily into the couch to watch TV but something makes me want to go outside. I feel that I should go for a walk and it's so persistent that I can't focus on the show playing. I turn off the TV and grab the apartment keys, slip into my flip flops and lock the door behind me. I glance at the white wooden door before going down the stairs. I don't really know where I should go so I let my feet drag me as I look around. The sun is blinding but the heat is still bearable. I'm about to cross the road when a voice calls me. But it's not Jungkook's and I can't help but feel disappointed, even after all these years. I turn around and meet one of the old lady who lives here.

“Yes, it really is you Jimin ! Look at you, look at how you've grown so much ! You're a young man now, I guess you're stealing more than one lady's heart with this beautiful face of yours !” She rambles and I smile politely, feeling a little shy at all the compliments and not telling her that I'd rather steal a boy's heart, a little realisation of my own that I had in the past year when I jerked off thinking of one of my male friend instead of the girlfriend I had at this time. Not particularly glorious, I know. I still regret that I didn't realise it earlier. After a little talk, I say goodbye to her and start to cross the road once again until I realise where I'm going. The playground. I stopped going there last year because it had never been the same without Jungkook. But now that I'm here, I resume my walking and enter the little park, stopping dead in my track when I see our shelter or more like the lack of shelter. It's gone. It was in a pretty bad state, yet I wasn't expecting it to be removed. Now, under the tree just stands a sandbox and once again I feel a heartache, once again, a single tear rolls down my cheek no matter how long it has been already, no matter how much time passed.

Maybe I should just stop coming in Jeju. Maybe I should just stop hoping.

 

 

2016, July 6th, Unexpected.

 

It's our second day in Seogwipo. I hesitated a lot to come this time, just like last year, but now that I'm going to university in Seoul and that I can't see my parents a lot, I guess that these three weeks are the little time that I can spend with them and enjoy their company fully. Plus, now that I'm older I really like to go for long walks into the countryside with them or even go to local events. And that's what we're planning for the day. There's a little festival in a village close by and even if we don't really know what we will find there we still want to take a look.

I'm slipping into bathing shorts and pass a white t-shirt over my still slightly wet hair when I hear my mother calling me.

“Yes, I'll be ready in a minute mum !” I say loudly for her to hear me through my closed door.

“No Jimin, I think you should come now !” She shouts in a weird high-pitched tone and I sigh. What can be so urgent that I can't finish to dry my hair ? I hope it's not only because there's a spider or a bug. I open the door, stroking my hair with my towel but freeze on the spot when I finally lift my gaze.

This can't be.

I stay speechless, my eyes averting between my mother's and one's I could never mistake for anyone else's.

“Hi hyung,” he says with a shy smile that let show his bunny teeth. He has changed, for sure, he is not a baby anymore. He's even taller than me and probably have more muscles than I'll ever have but his eyes are still the same. He's breathtaking.

“J-Jungkook ?” I manage to say, my voice coming out strangled and a little too high pitched. Saying that I am surprised would be an understatement. My jaw is literally touching the floor.

“Hm, I... I'll finish to get ready. Hm, I guess you're not coming anymore Jimin,” my mother says, fidgeting slightly between us before flying to the bathroom.

I try to proceed what my mother just said but my brain stopped working and I keep on staring at Jungkook from an awkward distance but he quickly takes a few steps ahead and hugs me.

“I missed you hyung,” he whispers and I automatically close my arms around his now too big body but still can't form any word. I'm too shocked.

“Honey, where is my-,” my father's voice echoes into the apartment but stops abruptly and both Jungkook and I let go of each other and turn to look at him, motionless into the spiral staircase.

“Hum, who are you ?” He asks, tilting his head to the side and I can't help but laugh loudly to the point my eyes are filled with tears of happiness and relief. I hear Jungkook chuckle next to me before he clears his throat.

“I'm Jungkook, it's nice to see you again Mr Park,” he says in a low tone that sounds nothing like the slender voice that I used to know.

“Holy crap !” He curses and climb down the stairs in a hurry before coming closer to us and grabbing Jungkook by both his shoulders, checking him from head to toes.

“Holy crap ! You're even taller than me now !” He says with a whistle, giving him a good pat on the back. “How have you been ? How come you stopped coming ? Are your par-,”

“Daesuk !” My mother's voice cuts him out. “Leave the boys alone, we need to go !”

“Wait, do you know where's my-”

“No and we don't need it ! Now come on,” she drags my father by the arm to the door making both Jungkook and I chuckle. “And boys, have a nice day !”

When the door closes, an awkward silence fall on the apartment, making me fidget nervously. I have so many questions to ask yet none would take form in my mind and even less come out of my mouth.

“Let's sit,” I say as I grab his hand, which is now practically twice the size of mine, and drag him to the couch. I keep on eyeing him with amazement, noticing a little scar on his left cheek that wasn't here before until he breaks the silence.

“I really missed you hyung,” he says again. “You have no idea how glad I am to see that you're still coming here.”

“I missed you too,” I whisper, realising how much I actually wanted to see him no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that I did not. “But how... What... Why-.”

“What happened ?” He asks, biting slightly on his lower lip and I nod, glad that he expressed the question for me.

“Well,...” he starts, averting his eyes to his playing fingers. “You know after the last time we saw each other I...”

He stops and frowns before looking back at me straight in the eyes with determination.

“I told my parents that I was gay, that I liked you and they didn't take it well,” he finishes, chuckling sadly. I stare at him with wide eyes, surprise that his parents who looked so nice didn't accept it.

“Actually they took it really badly,” he ads, lowering his gaze once again with a hurt expression but I let him continue. “So they granted me and told me that I would never see you again but at first I thought it was just a threat or something and that they would get used to it. But when they were planning the holiday the year after, they just chose another place and I even learnt that they had sold the apartment.”

“Shit... So that's why your mother never called me back,” I breath out, frowning and finally aware of the reasons why The Jeons had disappeared, that Jungkook didn't abandon me.

“You tried to call me ?” He asks slightly taken aback, staring at me with his big deep brown eyes.

“Yes, I called your mother's phone multiple times and left messages but she never answered,” I say, pressing my lips together in an angry pout. “And why now ? You're not here with your parents are you ?”

“No,” he shakes his head slightly. “I'm eighteen now and they were glad to be able to kick me out once I was old enough so I started working and managed to come here with a friend because I had to see you again hyung. I needed to see you and to explain why I couldn't come. I wanted to see you again.”

He sniffles softly, probably trying to fight back a few tears and at this moment I see my little Jungkookie from so many years ago, the same who was sniffling in our tent, but this time, I don't hesitate to close the distance between us and close my arms tightly around him.

“I'm sorry,” I say, half because of what he had been going through until now and half because it's what I should have done six years ago. “I'm glad you made it, I wanted to see you too.”

 

 

2016, July 6th, Heartbreaking.

 

We're still on the couch telling each other what happened during these 6 years. I learn that he came here with an older friend, Yoongi, a guy who helped him a lot after he got kicked out by his parents and that they were staying at the hotel. I also learn that he got beaten up, mostly by his mother, every time he would mention me or even talk about a male friend with who he seemed to be a little too close. I learn that his scar was made by her, the day Jungkook discovered that they would definitely not come to Seogwipo anymore and protested because he wanted to see me. She had thrown a glass on the wall, right next to his head and a little piece had cut his cheek rather deeply. And the more he is saying to me, the more I want to cry for him because I had no idea and was thinking that he had forgotten me. And the more he tells me the more I feel angry, because I wasn't here to help him, to protect him.

“I went to the playground,” he says after a few minutes of silence during which I was storming inside, but his words make me chill slightly, replacing anger with nostalgia.

“Hm, I know, they removed our shelter,” I nod softly, looking at his pained expression. “But we don't need it when we can make a tent out of bedsheets.” I ad with a comforting smile, taking his hand in mine and intertwining our fingers. He looks at our hands for a second before staring up at me with uncertainty.

“I- You know hyung, hm, I'm still... I know we didn't see each other for six years but I still and will forever, probably, l-like you more than a friend,” he stutters slightly and I can see the tip of his ears turning a pretty red as he looks back at our entwined fingers.

“It's alright, we have plenty of time to catch up now,” I whisper as I squeeze his hand softly and rest my head on his shoulder, smiling. “And I would be lying if I say that I see you as a friend only.”

 

 

2016, July 6th, ChimChim.

 

It would be an understatement to say that the atmosphere isn't awkward between Jungkook and me. He has always represented a big part of my life and has always took a big place in my heart even if the last six years I just tried to get over the fact that I wouldn't see him again. Yet, even if I had realised earlier that I could return his feelings, he still would have told his parents and we still would have missed each other for six years. But right now, as we're walking into his hotel direction so that he can introduce me to his friend, I don't know if I should take his hand and I'm feeling so nervous that I can't think of anything to say. The fact is that, no, he's not just a friend to me, I realise he never was, but we still need to learn about each other again because after all this time we both changed for sure.

My mental battle is cut by Jungkook when he stops in front of an old, dilapidated little building but before he pushes the door, he turns to me, scratching the back of his head.

“Hm, I'm sorry it's not really classy, maybe we should have met him outside... I don't make the same amount of money than my parents,” he says embarrassed.

“No, don't worry, it's not that bad,” I say but wince when I take a better look at the miraculously standing hotel.

“Don't lie, it's awful !” He chuckles but still holds the door for me.

We enter and climb the cracking wooden stairs to the third floor before he opens a door without knocking. The room is gloomy and dark with a single little window that barely let the light comes in. Inside, there's only a twin bed with old fashioned sheets, a little dresser and a door that probably leads to the bathroom.

A tiny male is laid on the bed and perks up when we enter, slowly standing up while ruffling his messy light brown hair.

“Jimin hyung, this is Yoongi hyung. Yoongi hyung, this is Jimin hyung,” Jungkook says politely and I take the few steps that are separating me from the older to shake his hand.

“So you are _the_ Jimin,” he teases with a light smirk. “Nice to meet you.”

“Ah, yes, nice to meet you too,” I say a little embarrassed, not knowing what Jungkook told him about me but my attention quickly falls on a little red frame laying on the bed and I smile fondly. As soon as Yoongi releases my hand I lean and grab the pretty worn out fluffy red fox before turning my head to a blushing Jungkook.

“You still have it,” I say, absent mindedly stroking the cuddle toy's head.

“Ah yes,” he answers, clearing his throat slightly.

“I still sleep with my Kookie too,” I ad with a chuckle, looking at how Jungkook's eyes widen before turning into crescents and hearing Yoongi awkwardly -or teasingly- clearing his throat.

 

 

2018, July 24th, Welcome Home.

 

“Hyung I'm back !” I hear Jungkook yell from the entry way before hearing some ruffling sounds, shoes taken off, keys thrown over a wooden cupboard and the door banging loudly.

“I bought fried chicken just like you- Oh !”

“Happy Ritual Day baby !” I sing, standing proudly next to a wonderful tent of covers that I had the time to build since I'm not working yet. I found a job starting September anyway and the amazement and surprise written all over Jungkook's face is worth it. He's frozen on place with a brown paper bag in one hand and a plastic one with cans of coke in the other, his dark eyes wide and sparkling.

“Wow, you made it !” He says with a whistle before setting the food and drinks on the bar and coming closer to me, his eyes flying between the tent and mines.

 

Jungkook and I live together in Seoul now, me graduated from Economics University and him still working full time. I told him at first that he should resume his studies but he disagreed. He said he doesn't want to rely on me too much and he doesn't want to live on my parents money. But I can understand. I wouldn't mind sharing what my parents give me with him -and them neither- but knowing him, that would make him go crazy. Yet he's starting to do very well in his job and his boss totally adores him. After cumulating awful part time jobs, he tried to pursue the path he has always wanted to : he is a comic edition assistant while doing some drawings himself that he posts online. He had never been published and actually never tried to submit his plates because he's kind of a perfectionist, but I saw his comics and they are amazing. Yet what amaze me more were all the drawings he had made about us, about me, about our childhood moments.

I still insisted for him to come live with me instead of the hovel I found him in and after a few problems with his renter and him practically dying of hypothermia during winter, he finally accepted my offer. Yet he's paying half of the rent.

After looking a little at the large tent I succeeded in making stand into our living room, he turns to me, circles my waist with his long arms and brings me closer to him. He looks hot in his suit and I bring my hands to rest over his tone chest. I don't know how he finds the time and energy to work out but I'm glad he does. Smiling back at me, he leans down and kisses me softly, sighing against my lips in contentment as if he has been waiting for this moment all day long. And I do too, relaxing into his warm embrace.

We started dating after we came back to Seoul. His friend, Yoongi kept on teasing us about how awkward we were with each other and it was true. It was like we were craving for each other yet never saying out loud that we liked each other. We were like high schoolers, flirting but never taking the big step. We would hold hands, blush, peck each other's cheek yet never going further. Now that I think about it, we really looked like teenage boys. And it went like this for a few months until Yoongi and my best friend as well, Hoseok, had enough of our innocence and trapped us into a drinking game that they probably had invented for the occasion before shoving us both into my bedroom. We didn't sleep together at that time but we sure made out heavily, finally.

 

2018, July 24th, One Night in Seoul.

 

After eating and taking a shower, both of us dressed in our pyjamas, we take Kookie and ChimChim and enter the tent. I stare with apprehension at his reaction and I'm not disappointed. As he gets in, his eyes grow wider and his mouth hangs open as he gazes at the little cocoon I built up. Soft covers, fluffy pillows, some fairy lights hanged over the roof.

“This is perfect,” he breaths and I squeal inside, glad that he appreciates my efforts. We turned off all the apartment's lights and it's already getting dark outside so we're only seeing each other thanks to the dimmed, coloured bulbs. We lay down, face to face with our cuddly toys under our arms and smile, telling about our dreams, recalling memories, giggling in happiness. We're alone on earth, nothing around exists anymore. It's only Jungkook and I, under our shack made of covers, and for nothing in the world I would swap our own childish moments for something else, for nothing in the world I would wish for someone else.

“Jungkook-ah,” I whisper, looking fondly into his deep dark eyes which sparkle more than a starry night sky.

“Yes hyung ?” He smiles, squeezing my hand softly in his large one.

“ _When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change,_ ” I start to sing exaggeratedly, internally laughing.

“You're so cheesy,” he giggles hitting my chest gently.

“But that's why you love me right ?”

His smile gets wider, reflecting perfectly the big smirk I'm sporting and I lean closer to seal his lips with my own, already feeling the desire to make him mine once again, like it's the first and last time.

His hand travels from my shoulder blade to the small of my back and he strongly draws me closer to him, making me gasp into the kiss. We're so close that I can feel the warmth exuding from his body and I slowly push him back until I'm hovering him, one leg between his, pressing my thigh softly against his crotch to hear him groan faintly. His hands are already roaming under my t-shirt, on my back or stroking my sides and I delicately leave his mouth to trail kisses over his jawline until I reach his earlobe. He tilts his head to the side and moans softly as soon as I nibble on his neck, one of his hand diving under the waistband of my sweatpants to stroke my butt cheek firmly before going back up, lifting my t-shirt. My bare skin shivers slightly under his touches that are soft and loving yet turning me on so much. I don't know how he manages to make me go that crazy for him.

I straighten, pecking his soft lips on my way up, as he tugs on my t-shirt. Jungkook helps me getting rid of the clothing, knocking off the fairy lights' cable by accident and plunging us into darkness.

“Oops, sorry,” he whispers, stroking my thighs back and forth and I giggle.

“Stay here, I'll plug it back,” I say, blindly finding my way out and searching for the power point until the tent lights up again.

I crawl back into our little cocoon and smirk when I see him, laying with all his glory in his underwear only.

“Like what you see ?” He asks, a smugly smile stretching his face.

“I'll never get enough of it,” I reply in a low tone as I lean over him, holding myself a few centimetre away from his body. “I'll never get enough of you.”

He shoots forward and captures my lips eagerly, bringing me down by the neck until our chests are flushed together, skin on skin, his hips rolling up against my clothed crotch slowly. I bit his lower lip slightly, drawing a low moan from his throat and I groan as he brings his thumbs to gently brush both my nipples. I straighten once again, kneeling between his spread legs and take off my sweatpants and underwear slowly while staring at him, at his lustful eyes that are following my every moves and at his swollen lips that he licks and bites languidly.

Once I managed to take everything off, I lean down and, holding myself with my hands on both his sides, I start giving open mouthed kisses to his smooth neck slowly, then his exposed throat, going on to his prominent collarbones. He sighs in pleasure, his slender fingers curling into my hair or around my biceps as I make my way down to his tensing abdomen, nibbling on every centimetre of his skin. I know I'm teasing but he doesn't say anything, probably liking it as much as me if not more.

I tug on his underwear, pulling it down as my mouth keeps on getting closer to his erection. He moans lowly when I breath hot air over it and I finally look up at him with a smug smile, his lustful eyes staring back at me as he tenderly trace my jawline with the tip of his fingers before digging them back into my locks.

I take his shaft, feeling him shiver despite him sweating, and let my tongue run over the tip slowly, keeping my gaze into his fluttering eyes before taking him in my mouth. A moan passes through his parted lips and his breathing becomes heavier, his chest rising and falling erratically. He's beautiful and I can't help but trail my hand over his naked body, his skin warm under my fingers.

“I love you,” he pants in a husky tone, arousing me and making me moan in response around him.

His head falls onto the pillow, his eyes rolling back and I gently retreat with my tongue flat against his shaft, earning a frustrated mewl when there's nothing around him but my hand and I hover over him, pecking his lips. He looks at me with a cute pout but I dive my free hand under one fluffy cushion and bring it back in front of his face, showing the bottle of lube I got ready beforehand.

“Don't you want me to prep you ?” I say with a smirk and he smiles back, his legs spreading wider probably unconsciously as he nods.

“Of course yes,” he whispers, staring at me with eager eyes. I sit on my heels, him following me up to kiss my shoulder and my neck while I pour some of the liquid into my palm and coat my fingers. I let him devour my skin, appreciating fully his hand pumping me slowly with his thumb over the lit for a few minutes before pushing him to lay on his back, our bodies flushed together. I bring my hand between his legs and push one finger inside, Jungkook's groans muffled by my skin he's still nibbling on and my breathy moans ghosting over his ear.

I get him ready diligently, sometime kissing him passionately or staring into his wild yet still so innocent eyes until he tells me he wants me and I comply, not wanting to wait longer before feeling him around me. I coat my hard member in lube and align myself with his entrance, holding firmly one of his legs up as I push inside carefully, pecking his pink cheeks, nose, forehead and swollen lips, not keeping my groans to myself until I'm filling him completely. I feel him relax and he starts to move his hips, clinging onto my shoulders as I set a comfortable pace even if it's hard for me not to go faster. His walls feel so tight around my erection.

I move back and forth, accelerating and thrusting deeper, making him moan loudly and clench around me when I finally hit his prostate and he grabs my neck to bring me down for a messy but loving kiss. He bits on my my lower lip a little too hard but it only ads to the pleasure and our moans stir together into the warmth of the tent. I can see his skin gleaming into the dim light but what I can't keep my eyes off are his eyes, flashing with all these emotions I crave to see all the time. Love, lust, shyness, pleasure.

He's becoming louder and I'm getting more eager to make him reach his orgasm, mine starting to build up into the pit of my stomach. I groan his name into his ear and I pound a little faster, my eyes clenching shut, stars dancing behind my lids as his body spasms under me, his legs and arms closing over me, us being like one when we reach our climax together, with nothing but our love for each other on our mind.

 

**Author's Note:**

> First work posted on Ao3, I hope you enjoyed it ! Don't hesitate to leave feedback !  
> Thank you for reading !
> 
> DK.


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